The things I’ve been through…

Okay… It’s been awhile. Let’s look at the previous entry from way back in August. Back then, I had started seeing a new Psychologist. This is just something that I just felt needed to be done. No big deal…. right?

Well… it was working with this person to “change medications”. Honestly, this was a dumb idea and I should have denied to do it. Instead, I went ahead and agreed to change one… or some… or all. Whatever. No big deal…. right?

It IS a big deal. I’ve been taking these medications from my Neurologist for years and was asked by the Psychologist to just entirely drop one. The reasons for this medication I was taking was seizures (by a Neurologist) and I was using the SAME medication for another reason (by a different doctor). Well, this new Psychologist told me to just drop it because… well… I honestly can’t remember the entire reason for that. SO, what happens to me when I just “drop” a seizure medication?…

I have a bad-ass seizure on the day-after Christmas.

I was lucky that my awesome son is with me at the house. He finds me on the living room floor and calls an ambulance. I have no memory of this and the next thing I know is that I’m opening my eyes hours later in the same hospital where I got the brain surgery done. SHIT! At that time I could see and hear, but I just couldn’t speak. I was told that my brain was not working enough to get words all the way through and out my mouth, so the doctor will be back later. Thankfully, after an hour or so, I was able to talk when the Neurologist returned.

I was told that earlier (but don’t remember) that I had been put through enough brain scans to look further. It’s still there… what little is left (haha). I was just basically told to GET BACK ON the medication that I had stopped, but only getting on it SLOWLY. Started this all over again directly after getting out of the hospital, and I AM STILL slowly getting back on these pills in April.

Okay. Side effects of this medication that I had gladly gotten away from before having the seizure: “increased tremor” and “getting less words out of my mouth”.

I’ve always had a tremor in my arm/hand since the damage to my brain 35 years ago. With this med, it is just worse.

I have always been able to think about and know exactly what I want to speak. I just don’t have the luxury of getting everything out of my mouth on the medication. I can get all my words out when I RAISE MY VOICE (done with a different part of the brain), but I just can’t when I speak “normal” as easily.

So, this is where I am at today. Haven’t had any more seizures (thank God), but the tremor in my arm is getting worse. I had forgotten how bad the tremor has got while on this medication. Bummer….

New Doctors! (in my town)

I’ve needed to see new doctors here in my town. When I was at a doctor’s office today, I had to do my weight and a few questions from one person. I told this person my life-story about this brain surgery. Next was another person who asked me some questions, so again I told “my story”. …and another person. …and another person. Telling my “impressive medical story” of brain-damage & brain-surgery is just something I’ve done a billion times. Interesting to see how different people can react differently.  😉

Did lots of questions and tests that were given to me today. Not really much of anything wrong with me (as usual), except the fact I’ve gained quite a bit of weight. Probably from the fact that I just “look” at my scale in the bathroom. Looking but not using. I’ve always thought… “Maybe next time I’m in the bathroom I’ll try it out.” But, this suggestive thought has never works for me.

So… I was there and I now have a list of doctors lined up for the future. I’m still thinking about contacting a new local Neurologist, just to tell my story about having brain surgery. The fact of my not needing to use seizure medication is one thing with it, but we’ll just see. Need a new Psychologist, and I’m getting that one set up soon. Other people to FINALLY have locally would be better for me.

Local doctors and other things are the best for me because I don’t have a drivers license. Just need to take a taxi, but that thing only goes within in my town….

New Psych @ The Hospital

So, today I went on a trip back to the hospital where my brain-surgery was done. Went there to see a new “Psych-lady”. That was… nice.

I just told her my entire “story” (pretty-much everything in this blog, and more). She was quite impressed with my entire life. I talked to her about getting a new Psychologist in my hometown and not have to drive the length to the hospital. She agreed.

So, that’s where I am with that….


New Neurosurgeon..

Went to the hospital and met a new Neurosurgeon today.  We discussed this new brain surgery to fix my tremor. The surgery that’s on my left-side of my brain and fixes the tremor on the right-side of the body. The surgeon explained the WHOLE thing.

The tests before…
The surgery itself…
The outcome afterwards…

Well, all these tests we talked about were the same ones I did before my previous brain surgery. Doing those again, to me, is not a big deal. Not as many tests as last time. No surprises there. Having to do any & all of these tests is not a problem for me…

This surgery (I’ve written about earlier) is not commonly used with people who had a previous brain damage, like me. I was curious as to what a Neurosurgeon had to say about this.

After all this…. well… it will NOT be a 100% fix for the tremor on the right-side of my body. I was basically told that my tremor may either be somewhat better OR not fixed at all.

With all this surgery as being so risky, I personally just turned it down. This arm/hand just “shakes”. I’ve been this way for 30+ years. I’m good. I’ll pass…


Another New Neuro-Doctor

Spoke with a new Neuro-doctor today. This discussion was about another surgery which will reduce the tremor from the right side of my body. Maybe not ENTIRELY, but to hopefully (somewhat) fix the arm/hand & [maybe] the foot. What will be done is the insertion of a wire into a certain part of the brain and the other end is connected to a probe underneath the skin. This probe is located at about the same height as the heart, just on the right side of the chest. …and underneath the skin with both the probe and “wire”.

He told me how this will be done and ALL the side effects. Those (possible) side effects don’t seem TOO bad (to me). But still, these side effects are not the most enjoyable things.

Earlier in this blog, there is the video of a person who had just received this surgery. He speaks about how he has this device to help with his Dystonia. Not damage in the brain, like me.

Several years after getting this to my brain, I will need to get back to the hospital and have another “quick” surgery. This is just to “change the battery” in the device.

To me, this is entirely CHOICE. Not a life or death necessity. Need to look… and talk… and think further into this.

Oh! I asked about the…

“Will I be awake while doing this surgery?”

Likely, it will be either… maybe YES, or maybe NO.
I can probably figure that one out when I’m on a table in the operating room. I’ll just tell you RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

My next thought is: Will I be able to “REMEMBER” anything afterwards??? 😛

And…. The FOURTH time.

Saw the Neuropsychologist for testing this morning. Just as I’ve previously explained about this tests I’ve taken, this one was… well… very close to the others. I recognized this as being the same as testing that I’ve done before.

The counting is easy to do… when I use my special way of counting numbers/letters that are spoken to me. “…put your fingers on the table and DON’T move them….”

(sure…. Don’t need to move fingers to count with them…)

Then there was the one about having a large story read to me, and describe what the whole thing was about back to her. The problem with that one is… that thing called: short-term memory. She would tell a long story, but I wouldn’t be able to remember much about what was just told to me.

Maybe I just didn’t enjoy the stories? Maybe? I’ve heard better….

Ah! There was this last one that I did and it was just too easy for me. Had four cards laid on the table in front of me with each card having a picture on it.

Square. Circle. Star. Triangle.

Each card has one a different number of shapes (3 squares or 2 triangles or 4 circles…. you understand.) The shapes on the card were one of the four colors.

Basically, she said “start”. Then, I took a card from the pile next to me and I had to decide if we were matching numbers, shapes or colors. I’d lay one down below one of the cards shown and she would say “yes” or “no”. After one or two cards that I laid down, I had it figured out. Then she said “change” and I would have to find a different way to match the cards. SHAPE or COLOR or NUMBER of images shown.

Heck, that last one was WAY too easy for me. The others…. not so much.