The things I’ve been through…

Okay… It’s been awhile. Let’s look at the previous entry from way back in August. Back then, I had started seeing a new Psychologist. This is just something that I just felt needed to be done. No big deal…. right?

Well… it was working with this person to “change medications”. Honestly, this was a dumb idea and I should have denied to do it. Instead, I went ahead and agreed to change one… or some… or all. Whatever. No big deal…. right?

It IS a big deal. I’ve been taking these medications from my Neurologist for years and was asked by the Psychologist to just entirely drop one. The reasons for this medication I was taking was seizures (by a Neurologist) and I was using the SAME medication for another reason (by a different doctor). Well, this new Psychologist told me to just drop it because… well… I honestly can’t remember the entire reason for that. SO, what happens to me when I just “drop” a seizure medication?…

I have a bad-ass seizure on the day-after Christmas.

I was lucky that my awesome son is with me at the house. He finds me on the living room floor and calls an ambulance. I have no memory of this and the next thing I know is that I’m opening my eyes hours later in the same hospital where I got the brain surgery done. SHIT! At that time I could see and hear, but I just couldn’t speak. I was told that my brain was not working enough to get words all the way through and out my mouth, so the doctor will be back later. Thankfully, after an hour or so, I was able to talk when the Neurologist returned.

I was told that earlier (but don’t remember) that I had been put through enough brain scans to look further. It’s still there… what little is left (haha). I was just basically told to GET BACK ON the medication that I had stopped, but only getting on it SLOWLY. Started this all over again directly after getting out of the hospital, and I AM STILL slowly getting back on these pills in April.

Okay. Side effects of this medication that I had gladly gotten away from before having the seizure: “increased tremor” and “getting less words out of my mouth”.

I’ve always had a tremor in my arm/hand since the damage to my brain 35 years ago. With this med, it is just worse.

I have always been able to think about and know exactly what I want to speak. I just don’t have the luxury of getting everything out of my mouth on the medication. I can get all my words out when I RAISE MY VOICE (done with a different part of the brain), but I just can’t when I speak “normal” as easily.

So, that is where I am at today. Have not had any more seizures (thank God), but the tremor in my arm is getting worse. I’ve forgotten how bad the tremor has got while on this medication. Bummer….

New Job at the Hospital…

Well, this Friday position over in HR to do “filing” of paperwork has become… well… not as complicated for me as was thought. So, they informed me:

“Darren, we don’t have enough for you to do (every Friday), so we only will need you to come and work for us every-other Friday.”

Ugh. Great. What am I going to do with these OTHER weeks I’m not volunteering there?
Wellll… Ok.

Here’s my story: Buddy and I are always talking after lunch while I’m waiting for my ride home. I do my jobs on Friday morning. He’s been sitting and volunteering his job (my old Friday morning job) for YEARS on Friday afternoons. So, it was agreed that we would do it this way: when I am not working in the other building, every-other morning, then I will just work at this position again (his position)….on those days…for the afternoon.

Uh, hell no. That only worked (one day) until I had the Volunteer “Lady Up Above” caught me sitting there. Doh! I had to get out of there before she kicked me HARD.

“YOU cannot volunteer at afternoon positions! YOU informed me of this!”


Ok…. Ok….

So, I went back to see her (after getting the yelled at and kicked) to inform her that I needed something to do on the every-other Friday since I have nothing. She told me I need to go work at “that other building down the street” and AWAY from the Hospital itself.

“Just Go Away….”

This is cool. Now, the opposite weeks that I work at the HR office, I work over at the storage building. I create and insert forms into a folder, and then I put everything into a box. An EASY job and it’s better than just sitting at home on the “Off Days”.  🙂

(Just between you and me… these guys at the new location want me to work all day/everyday after I’ve been there just one morning? Hahaha… I told them I’ll think about it.)

Ah… New Numerical Change


This is the “day after” New Years Day, right? What new year is this now?

Ah, 2016.

What year did this blog begin so that I could write, and you could read, mainly about what I go through pertaining to my brain?

Oh, yeah… 2013.

It has now been TWO YEARS since that Official Brain Surgery of mine, back in January 2014. Pretty good job there, eh? Brain still works enough to let me still blog here.  🙂

What is my plans for 2016?

Stay a volunteer at the hospital.

I had been informed about maybe other things to do as a volunteer for the hospital here in town. I’ll let you know when I get all the facts straightened with that.

Less psych visits. Every-other week instead of every week? She has told me that she believes my brain has somehow gotten surprisingly better than she would have ever thought it could.

Now what?

I guess I’ll just let you know as I keep going…

Good movie… full of problems.

I just watched a movie on Netflix that I really enjoyed. The title is:

The Road Within

All about a teen with Tourette’s Syndrome, and his Mother dies. His Dad puts him into a clinic, just because his Dad is busy and cannot handle being an only-parent with him. That’s where the teen finds an unexpected community with an obsessive-compulsive roommate and an anorexic young woman. This is where romance eventually/uneasily follows.

I can easily understand how a person would not enjoy this movie. Anyone would have a problem with this movie because they don’t understand or don’t WANT to understand being with people that are different. They have a “problem” being with other people that have THOSE types of differences. I could also see how some people just wouldn’t understand what it is like to have those problems, and would never want to learn.

“My problems arn’t as bad as yours.”

But, everyone has their own problems. Right?

Qo’noS friday malja’Daq! (Klingon)

Ah, it’s Friday again boys and girls and whatever else is reading/complaining about what is being referred to as words on a screen. OK! Lets move forward!

This Friday was a good one. WHY? Are we really this confused as to what day this is and to what happens on this day? I am OFFICIALLY at my new placement within the hospital. Removed from the doorway to wave, and in an office to file papers. LOVE IT! Doesn’t get much better. Well…. hasn’t been this good for a long time.

People may come into to the office and ask the lady up front for some help, and then there are chairs in the “tiny waiting area”. Behind the check-in area, that’s where I’m at. Surrounded by my many (not MINI) giant metal file cabinets. That’s what I do…. keeps me more entertained rather than sitting at home doing nothing!

File stuff. Sit in a chair to take a break. File more stuff…. Very Complicated.

Ah, today I saw my actual lady that is IN CHARGE of all the volunteer people. Hadn’t seen or spoken with her in quite awhile. She had brought in two people to get their pictures taken. They are volunteers themselves! Ah! That’s cool!

So, what is this one volunteer going to be doing? He is taking my spot at the location I used to be at! What? What? I asked her what was going to happen if I changed my mind and decided that I wanted my old spot back?

She told me, basically…. “Too bad, so sad. You have been moved, and now you are stuck. Period. The End.”

Oh. I guess if that’s it, then that’s it.

OK, different subject…  Today at lunch I sat at the usual table for volunteers. What did I eat today? Anyone want to guess on that one? Just my usual Large Salad plus a piece of pie. So, I ate my salad and while I did this I had this girl sitting next to me with “fruit pie that comes in a bag”. I kept trying to snatch it from her since she had commented that I got the WRONG dessert. Hmmm… She ate her’s and said she didn’t like that flavor.

What did I DO? I just walked back into the area to get one of those at a different flavor and made sure I went through the “other side” of the line. Different check-out lady.

Thus I got mine and went back to the table. Girl sitting next to me was like…

“Uh…. You can’t get TWO desserts! You’re not supposed to be able to do that!”
“Yea, you can’t if you visit the SAME check-out lady TWICE. Duh!”

hahaha…. But it was just funny. I assured her that my fruit pie was MUCH BETTER. (eh, it was okay)  😉

Ah, Fredag… (Norwegian)

Another Friday…
Another Friday…
Another Friday…

How did we work through another Friday this time? Yep. Hospital Volunteer!

This was just the normal & busy Friday morning while greeting people.

“Good Morning.”
“Good Morning.”

Can’t say I had to do much of anything differently than I had before. It was a good day of mainly just greeting people.

Now, the one thing I CAN say that was better is an email I received. The typed characters are telling me when/where to go for my “training” next Friday. Training? Training for what?…. hopefully you are thinking…

Ok. Let me type into the truth of a feeling. Since this is my one and only day of actual “work” that I have to get up for after spending days off, so I have started to believe that a Friday would be Monday! Understand what I’m typing? I want to think to myself that I am starting a new week by going to work.

Mr. Self, lets go to the beginning of the week’s work!

Buddy, it IS the workday. You are correct there. But I feel the confusion that you may have is falling into the fact that you have forgotten today is a FRIDAY. That means your work week is beginning and ending all on the same day. So, it is just a single Workday and the Workweek.

Oh…. Is there some way that we can fix this, Mr. Self?

Buddy, I feeel and understand what you want. I understand why you would think you need a full job, just because you’re bored. But is it going to get fixed? No.” 

So, for me, a Friday (sniff, sniff) is the only day I got… Oh, don’t forget, it’s only half-a-day.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I honestly have to say that I would love it to be a “Monday” instead of just a “Friday”. Understand? I want to work! Enough… Enough… Enough… Let me get off my “chair for whining” and type something different!

So, that NEW JOB THING is starting NEXT WEEK! 

Supposed to come for the “training” at 8:30 till 10:30. Then after that, I’ll just go back down to my entrance and stay there till it’s time to eat. Hey! Do whatever needs to be done to be able to EAT! That’s the most important thing. Right?

I’ll learn more about something new next week. I’ll have more then to share.

ok… ok… OK!

OK, I’m back to blogging-ing again…

“Oh… I am feeling so much better that he is back to his blogging. I can feel my days going by better and better…”

Uh-huh… sure…..

So, it’s another Friday. Can we tell what happens on a Fri-o-Day? Well, it is time for…

anybody… anybody…

Yes! Hospital Volunteering!

Today was a bit more “exciting than normal”. I was expecting less with the heat and “chance of” rain, but the people just showed up normally. I’m getting used to pointing people around the corner for serious questions. Others, I can handle…

“How do I get to the other building?”
“Go outside and walk to that building, or go over there and walk the hallway to the main building.”

NOW, what did I learn today?  “DING! DING! DING!”  THIS is what we have ALL been waiting for! Spoke with the Main Lady of Volunteering. She told me that next week she will give me a call about my NEW POSITION. She explained the whole thing to me, but I’ve already forgotten the…. whatever that thing I’ll be doing is.

“I’ll call you next week. Is there a good day?”
“Monday is bad. (you readers know… it’s psych lady…) But any other day is cool.”
“OK. I’ll call you next week and we’ll set something up.”


Wait…. Wait…. Wait… I forgot to explain the best part of the volunteerism today!

I had my son with me today because he wanted to come. Kind of didn’t explain last Friday (the 17th) just because I had my son helping me. He was”learning” a few things along the way and we didn’t do too much for 4 HOURS…

This Friday was…

“Dad, I want to help.” 

Throughout a day, I have people ask where places are. All I could ever do is just point the direction or kinda start them by telling where to go and asking from there. My son, on the other hand, was wanting to walk people to where they needed to go.

“Go for it. Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here whenever you get back.”

I pointed on the map where to go, but he never took one with him.

He’d come back… Said he made it all the way there (and obviously all the way back between two buildings).

“ooooooook, if you say so…..”

Later I had a lady roll by and going out the door. She told me that my son was so nice and helpful with what he did for her.

So, I guess he could watch that door next time and I’ll take a nap. Hahaha….